In December Eli and I went to Sam’s Christmas play at school. It wasn’t what you would call a traditional nativity play – each class did a segment around a theme and Sam’s bit was mainly based on the story of the three pigs and the big bad wolf! This is the second school Christmas play I have been to and they are always a triumph of logistics and imagination.
One of the older classes did a performance based on space, and were dressed as astronauts while singing ‘All About that Space’ to the tune of the Meghan Trainor song. This happens to be one of Eli’s favourite songs and he was outraged, ‘It’s All About That BASS, not SPACE!’
Then, as we watched the kids Eli said loudly, ‘Astronauts are not disabled.’
‘Um, right, don’t they look great?’ I said.
‘Astronauts cannot be in wheelchairs’, he said.
Luckily for me the next stage of the play involved chocolate coins being tossed in to the audience, so Eli was distracted and I didn’t have to deal with the inclusion-disability-space conundrum immediately. But it stayed with me.
Eli is as accepting of difference as you could hope a three year old to be. He’s a kid and they deal mainly in black and white and are hugely influenced by what they see around them. So in the same way that they might think women can’t be sea adventurers because there’s only one poxy female Octonaut on the TV programme, they think astronauts can’t be disabled because they haven’t seen one.
And of course they’re sort of right. It’s unlikely there will be a wheelchair-user visiting the International Space Station any time soon. But it’s also pretty unlikely that any of the children we know will grow up to be astronauts despite their aspirations but we don’t therefore tell them it’s impossible. Right now, they can pretend to be whoever they want to be.
The whole point of childhood is to have dreams and imagination, and the role of parents is to make the landscape of their aspirations as wide and ambitious as possible. That’s why we read fictional books. So in the same way that I don’t tell Eli that he might not meet the stringent selection criteria for space travel, we also don’t tell Sam that he can’t be an astronaut because he’s disabled. In light of Eli’s comments at the play, we spend quite a lot of time talking about how Eli AND Sam can be astronauts. And Stella, come to that (depressingly lack of female astronaut portrayal also).
Part of this issue is about representation – kids needs to see disabled people (and girls, and women, and non-white people, etc etc) in their books and on TV, doing the same things that the able-bodied, white boy characters get to do. That’s what the Toy Like Me campaign is all about – calling on the toy industry to better represent disabled kids. There’s a lovely story about their campaign here
While we wait for the rest of the world to catch up with inclusion, I seized the opportunity for action provided by a massive pile of cardboard following delivery of a new sofa from Ikea and…
I now present to you: THE WHEELCHAIR-ACCESSIBLE ROCKET!
My eight years of architectural education have not been wasted. It’s big enough for Sam to get in in his chair and still have room for his brother. Eli has decorated it with stars and planets, it has a door to shut out the adults, and interior lighting courtesy of the pound shop. It’s a bit crude, not photogenic and an apostrophe has dropped off but the kids love it.
James, Eli and Sam have between them created an elaborate bedtime routine which involves turning all the lights off, Eli climbing in to Sam’s bed, and then them playing with various light toys. For slightly obscure reasons, this is called a disco (though it involves no music). Therapists would call it Sensory Play.
We recently bought Sam a Buzz Lightyear toy to reward him for all his incredibly hard work using the eyegaze computer and along with the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets and watching clips of Tim Peake in space, the whole thing has become a bit space-themed. Now, the disco often starts with a little trip in to the rocket and a pretend voyage to the moon before the boys get in to bed.
If the world won’t provide the imaginative horizons my kids need, we’ll have to create them ourselves.
‘To infinity, and beyond!’